IC CONTACT

[oneagainstall]

FROM: SUBJECT: MISTY No matter what happens, Gren... NAGEKI Mr. Grendel JULIET Hey Gren, it's Juliet. I haven't seen you around for a few days... JULIET Hey, Gren, it's Juliet. Have you heard from Shawn? R Um... Gren? Do you know how to do up a tie..? MISTY U dun fucked up monster man SHAWN BFFS SHAWN Grendy

TO: SUBJECT: CHARACTER NAME THREAD SUBJECT CHARACTER NAME THREAD SUBJECT CHARACTER NAME THREAD SUBJECT SHAWN Shawn you fucking fuck SHAWN Let me preface this by saying...

inboxcode by cawaii

Comments

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[soupcansam]

Because that's just who we are as friends.

[ Of course he expects snark; it's part of why he got him something so completely stupid but also meaningful. ]

Also, don't knock the stylistic choices of 13-year-old girls. They're not afraid to embrace their inner love of horses and tassels. We could all learn something from them.

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[oneagainstall]

I'm deeply fucking touched, you goddamn weirdo.

I mean, sure, if you want your life to be a Lisa Frank nightmare, then we should. But I think I'm gonna pass. Not a big fan of rainbows and horses and shit.

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[soupcansam]

I'm just trying to add a little color in your life.

lisa frank was a visionary.

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[oneagainstall]

How fuckin' kind of you.

Sure. If you like what it looks like when you cut open a fuckin' unicorn.

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[soupcansam]

r u serious?

i mean i assume you've seen the inside of a unicorn before so.

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[oneagainstall]

Honestly, I can't remember. Probably? Saw a lot of dead shit cut open on the way to the mundy. Makes sense there was a unicorn in there.

Or maybe it was an elf or something I don't know.

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[soupcansam]

incredible.

you can't tell the difference between a horse with 4 legs and an elf with 2.

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[oneagainstall]

Look, there were piles of fucking corpses everywhere and I was a refugee running from the fucking thing that killed them. I wasn't looking close enough to count legs.

[The question here is what is big and awful enough that is makes Gren run.]

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[soupcansam]

I'm just saying, one has a giant horn, but w/e.

glad you made it out, bud. otherwise you wouldn't be the recipient of a cool ass keychain today.

also, random q: is it racist to assume you lived in a swamp and/or is it racist to assume you wouldn't want to live in one today?

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[oneagainstall]

Maybe they took the horn off for magic spells and shit?

And wouldn't that be the biggest fucking tragedy ever.

No because I did live in a swamp? And I don't know. I mean I liked it plenty but I haven't lived in a swamp for about three hundred years? I think? When was New York still called New Amsterdam? That's how long it's been.

Anyway. I mean I wouldn't hate it but I don't hate where I'm at either?

[soupcansam]

don't ask me history things, i don't know the answers. new amsterdam sounds made up anyway.

so if you had to choose, MASH-style except this time the S stood for swamp, would you be bummed if you landed on S?

[oneagainstall]

That's definitely what it was fucking called. I remember that much.

[There's a SIGNIFICANT pause before he replies again. Mostly because he's trying to understand what the hell Shawn is trying to say. ]

Why can't you ask questions like a normal person? Are you talking about that show with Alan Alda in it?

[soupcansam]

I see I have to teach you everything. At least you know who Alan Alda is.

MASH - aside from being a great comedy about the tragedy of war - is a game. The letters stand for 'mansion, apartment, shack (swamp??) and house. As in which one will you be randomly assigned to as we go through the game.

wanna play?

you're curious, I can feel it.

1/2

[oneagainstall]

What.

2/2

[oneagainstall]

[Then like...half an hour later. ]

Okay I'm fucking confused. Which isn't the same as being curious.

The fuck is this game?

flkvjflgfg

[soupcansam]

it's a game that predicts the future of teenage girls but I stand by my position that boys can play too.

[oneagainstall]

How does it predict the future? Is it like an Ouija board? Because I make it a professional courtesy not to fuck with evil spirits.

[soupcansam]

No spirits. I don't believe in a lot but the last thing I need is a poltergeist forcing me to watch static television.

Pick 4 girl names. Women. Or men, whatever floats your boat. Real people you know then tell them to me.

[oneagainstall]

Oh like that movie with the creepy fucking kid?

[See, he learned ONE new thing about "modern" movies. He doesn't trust this AT ALL, but fine.]

Fine. Holly, Misty, Eleanor and Snow. Don't do anything weird.

[soupcansam]

You'll have to be clearer, that's a lot of movies.

anyway, pick a number between 1-10 and then name four different professions.

[oneagainstall]

The one with the little girl who watches the television. They're heeeereee. That one.

...This still sounds stupid. 6. Construction worker, librarian, firefighter, musician.

[soupcansam]

Okay pick three more numbers. still 1-10. Don't pick 6 again.

and also pick 4 cities. anywhere in the world.

[oneagainstall]

How much longer does this take? 3

New York City, Paris, London and Oslo

[soupcansam]

dude. pick 2 more numbers.

and 4 different jobs. after that, done.

[oneagainstall]

It's going on forever

9 and 1

vet, bartender, taxi driver, waiter