IC CONTACT

[oneagainstall]

FROM: SUBJECT: MISTY No matter what happens, Gren... NAGEKI Mr. Grendel JULIET Hey Gren, it's Juliet. I haven't seen you around for a few days... JULIET Hey, Gren, it's Juliet. Have you heard from Shawn? R Um... Gren? Do you know how to do up a tie..? MISTY U dun fucked up monster man SHAWN BFFS SHAWN Grendy

TO: SUBJECT: CHARACTER NAME THREAD SUBJECT CHARACTER NAME THREAD SUBJECT CHARACTER NAME THREAD SUBJECT SHAWN Shawn you fucking fuck SHAWN Let me preface this by saying...

inboxcode by cawaii

Comments

5/14

[soupcansam]

[ This is left outside of Grendel's room with a note. ]

Grendy,

This is my approximation of what your face looked like when you rescued me from the killer robots. Two things. 1) this is made out of white chocolate so please enjoy. 2) Monster-you is pretty sweet. Not like, 'awww' sweet but 'holy shit that's awesome' sweet. Just thought you should know.

- Shawn.

PS: You should have a nickname for me since I'm calling you Grendy now.

PPS: Only one form of a curse word in said nick-name, if any, please.

PPPS: Might I suggest 'T-Bone Turner?'

PPPPS: How many 'Ps' can you do?

PPPPPS: Thanks again, I really mean it.

5/14

[oneagainstall]

[Oh sweet fuck what is this. He'll take it, but he doesn't know what to do with it. ]

I don't think I want to put this thing in my mouth.

Also I never realised deeply regretting saving a person's life was a thing that could happen but here we fucking are.

I'm not calling you that. Not under any circumstances.

And I think the limit of Ps is like I don't know. Fucking twenty? English has changed like a hundred times in my lifetime I don't know how the fuck it works any more.

Yeah sure. It's fine. Wouldn't want you dead or nothing.

left at Gren's door

[soupcansam]

[ There is something hanging from Grendel's doorknob, and that something is a heart keychain. Blue, because they're guys, but also broken in half. Shawn's smiling face graces this half and below it is etched 'BFFS.' The implication here, is that Shawn has a half of this heart too, and somehow, inside, is Gren's photo.

It's a thoughtful gift of friendship. ]

Text

[oneagainstall]

[He really should just come to accept and roll with Random Shit Shawn Leaves At His Door. He takes the (gift???) carefully, not sure if he should be touched or troubled by it. No one has ever got him anything this corny in his entire nigh-on-two-thousand-year existence. This is a first.

He'll set aside the marginally creepy thought that this means Shawn has somehow got a picture of him- best not let that kind of thing linger, he might start asking himself questions he doesn't want to know the answer to. ]

Thanks for the present? How did you know I always wanted something a thirteen year old girl would love?

[If he was expecting anything other than a snarky comeback for his genuine display of affection then he probably wouldn't be sending anything to Gren in the first place, right? ]

Text

[soupcansam]

Because that's just who we are as friends.

[ Of course he expects snark; it's part of why he got him something so completely stupid but also meaningful. ]

Also, don't knock the stylistic choices of 13-year-old girls. They're not afraid to embrace their inner love of horses and tassels. We could all learn something from them.

Text

[oneagainstall]

I'm deeply fucking touched, you goddamn weirdo.

I mean, sure, if you want your life to be a Lisa Frank nightmare, then we should. But I think I'm gonna pass. Not a big fan of rainbows and horses and shit.

Text

[soupcansam]

I'm just trying to add a little color in your life.

lisa frank was a visionary.

Text

[oneagainstall]

How fuckin' kind of you.

Sure. If you like what it looks like when you cut open a fuckin' unicorn.

Re: Text

[soupcansam]

r u serious?

i mean i assume you've seen the inside of a unicorn before so.

Text

[oneagainstall]

Honestly, I can't remember. Probably? Saw a lot of dead shit cut open on the way to the mundy. Makes sense there was a unicorn in there.

Or maybe it was an elf or something I don't know.

Text

[soupcansam]

incredible.

you can't tell the difference between a horse with 4 legs and an elf with 2.

Text

[oneagainstall]

Look, there were piles of fucking corpses everywhere and I was a refugee running from the fucking thing that killed them. I wasn't looking close enough to count legs.

[The question here is what is big and awful enough that is makes Gren run.]

Text

[soupcansam]

I'm just saying, one has a giant horn, but w/e.

glad you made it out, bud. otherwise you wouldn't be the recipient of a cool ass keychain today.

also, random q: is it racist to assume you lived in a swamp and/or is it racist to assume you wouldn't want to live in one today?

Text

[oneagainstall]

Maybe they took the horn off for magic spells and shit?

And wouldn't that be the biggest fucking tragedy ever.

No because I did live in a swamp? And I don't know. I mean I liked it plenty but I haven't lived in a swamp for about three hundred years? I think? When was New York still called New Amsterdam? That's how long it's been.

Anyway. I mean I wouldn't hate it but I don't hate where I'm at either?

[soupcansam]

don't ask me history things, i don't know the answers. new amsterdam sounds made up anyway.

so if you had to choose, MASH-style except this time the S stood for swamp, would you be bummed if you landed on S?

[oneagainstall]

That's definitely what it was fucking called. I remember that much.

[There's a SIGNIFICANT pause before he replies again. Mostly because he's trying to understand what the hell Shawn is trying to say. ]

Why can't you ask questions like a normal person? Are you talking about that show with Alan Alda in it?

[soupcansam]

I see I have to teach you everything. At least you know who Alan Alda is.

MASH - aside from being a great comedy about the tragedy of war - is a game. The letters stand for 'mansion, apartment, shack (swamp??) and house. As in which one will you be randomly assigned to as we go through the game.

wanna play?

you're curious, I can feel it.

1/2

[oneagainstall]

What.

2/2

[oneagainstall]

[Then like...half an hour later. ]

Okay I'm fucking confused. Which isn't the same as being curious.

The fuck is this game?

flkvjflgfg

[soupcansam]

it's a game that predicts the future of teenage girls but I stand by my position that boys can play too.

[oneagainstall]

How does it predict the future? Is it like an Ouija board? Because I make it a professional courtesy not to fuck with evil spirits.

[soupcansam]

No spirits. I don't believe in a lot but the last thing I need is a poltergeist forcing me to watch static television.

Pick 4 girl names. Women. Or men, whatever floats your boat. Real people you know then tell them to me.

[oneagainstall]

Oh like that movie with the creepy fucking kid?

[See, he learned ONE new thing about "modern" movies. He doesn't trust this AT ALL, but fine.]

Fine. Holly, Misty, Eleanor and Snow. Don't do anything weird.

[soupcansam]

You'll have to be clearer, that's a lot of movies.

anyway, pick a number between 1-10 and then name four different professions.

[oneagainstall]

The one with the little girl who watches the television. They're heeeereee. That one.

...This still sounds stupid. 6. Construction worker, librarian, firefighter, musician.